Jenn Powazek

Hmmmmm.... what to do, what to do....

Have you ever been really curious about a time in someone's life.... but been too afraid to ask because you are not sure if you want to know the answer? I stayed up for two hours last night, laying in bed, with my mind racing. Old issues... totally old.... like years ago old.... but I'm still curious. Still wanting to know how you felt in that moment.... what you were thinking.... everything you did that I didn't know about.... that was kept secret from me. In this situation, I found out randomly, months later... but, even then, once I knew, I didn't ask many questions. And now... I think I want to know... but I am terrified by what I may hear.

I keep thinking, it's 2003. Live in the present. Don't dwell on the past. All is good now, why worry.. why dive into old baggage... but deep inside, part of me really wants to know the details.

But will I accept the answers? Will I believe you are being truthful now? Will I understand the situation more or will I be more angry and feel more deceived.

You know, at some point I just have to let things go. This isn't the easiest task for me. Don't get me wrong... I don't hold on to grudges forever or anything. I eventually come to terms with things. I know that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes... I logically know this. But, I can't seem to get this particular situation off of my mind.