Yes, the rumors are true. I have completely lost my voice. Completely. It is really so sad. I have a big ole cold. Saturday, I woke up feeling pretty lousy. I kept taking decongestants and started feeling a little bit better. Saturday night, we had some people over for a housewarming party. I had to leave the party around 10:00 and go to bed. I seriously thought I was dying. My nose was all stuffed up, I couldn't breathe, and I had started losing my voice.
The thing that sucks is that the party continued without me AND our bathroom is located off of our bedroom. So, everytime someone needed to take a leak, they had to walk into the bedroom, strike up conversation with me, use the bathroom, say something as they left, open the door, and close it. This happened frequently until about 3:00 AM.
Finally I fell asleep..... I woke up Sunday morning to NO voice. Not even a squeak... just air. Now, for those of you that know me... you know that I am a talker, a singer, a noise maker.... I like to shoot the shit. I like to sing along with some of the jingles on TV. Like Mattress Discounters, Chilli's baby back ribs, and many others. They make me laugh. Speaking of laughing... I CAN'T. I can't do either... I can't speak of it and I can't do it. Grrrrrr.....
So, I spent yesterday watching football with Jon, taking hot baths, drinking lots of water and hot tea, and sleeping. Today, I am home from work and will probably be doing the same. Hopefully, two days without speaking will bring my voice back.
Back to sleep I go....
I watched most of the Golden Globe Awards last night. I started falling asleep towards the end but I caught most of it. Here are a few of my thoughts.
First of all, what were Lara Flynn Boyle and Sharon Stone thinking when they got dressed? Sharon always looks amazing... and she did from the waist up... but what was she thinking with the stilletto cowboy boots. That was nothing but wrong! And I can't even pick apart Lara Flynn Boyle's outfit.... it looked like she was trying to be Bjork when she had the swan outfit on. But there's a difference, Bjork can pull that stuff off... Lara can't! She looked like an anorexic in a really bad four year old's ballet outfit.... with boobs. Very strange.
Secondly, did you hear Dick Clark talking to Leonardo DiCaprio on the red carpet? He said... and I quote, "I'm standing here with one of the stars from Gangs of New York and I have one question for you Leonard". Leonard? I almost peed my pants... that was so funny.
Thirdly, when Brendon Frasier asked everyone to salute HIM. Oooops, that was a slip, yet totally loosened up the very dry audience.
Ok- for those of you who saw Chicago.... I am not going to knock Renee's performance because I thought she did a good job, especially for never having done a singing or dancing role. For that matter, she has never taken lessons for either of them! So, in that respect, she was great. However, I don't think she should have one the Globe. I feel the Globe should have gone to Catherine Zeta Jones. She was flawless AND was so out of her skin. Renee plays the same card in every movies she's in. I was dissappointed that Catherine didn't win, but, I really enjoyed Renee's speech. I thought it was heartful. In fact, I enjoyed everyone's speech.... especially when Richard Gere thanked Kander and Eb. I think "film" people tend to forget the original composers, writers, and choreographers.
All in all, I thought it was a pretty good show.... though the audience seemed like they were all on downers.
I woke up this morning after having thee weirdest dream. I dreamt that there was a production going on of Into the Woods at a local theatre. It kind of looked like the Candelight Pavilion in my hometown, Claremont. I was suddenly put into the role of Little Red....however, I hadn't been originally cast as Little Red. In fact, I hadn't been cast at all. Something had happened to the girl who played Little Red and they had called me in to do it.
The whole cast was at some restaurant... sort of like Coco's... just eating and chatting. I was uneasy because I didn't know when we would rehearse. I was getting the feeling that they thought I had done the role before, which I haven't. I was getting more and more nervous and uncomfortable. It also seemed that I had just shown up there without any idea of what was going to happen. I didn't have any make-up, nylons, shoes, etc. I think I had no idea that I was going on that night!
Next thing I know, it is time to leave the restaurant and head to the theatre. We get back stage and they are having a dessert contest. Seriously, there are a bunch of people working on these exquisit desserts. There are all of these tables set up... I see Jon and run over to him. Inside my head, I am screaming about how I haven't been given any blocking or choreography or tried on my costume or anything.... but nothing is coming out of my mouth. He does some voi-la move and presents this oreo ice cream dessert thing.... everyone oooh's and aaaah's and applauds. I keep looking around the room.... very confused.
The whole group moves into the dressing room... so I follow them. I find my costume and tights... which are like a size C (and I'm a size A)... they are huge! So, I'm folding them over at the waist but they are still sagging on my legs... the shoes are too big... everything seems to be going wrong.... and no one is helping me. I am putting on make-up that I have borrowed from someone else but I am doing it wrong. I'm putting the lip liner on my eyes, etc. I keep getting more and more frustrated.
Finally, I say something to the cast like "hey, how about showing me some of the choreography... how am I going to know where to go and when". Suddenly, it hits me that I haven't sung Little Red's songs since I auditioned for the Broadway company two years ago (seriously). So, I start running through the words in my head, not worrying about the blocking. One of the ladies in the cast, a big fat lady (I have no idea who she was or what she was playing) told me that they will just lead me around and push me where I need to go. I look at her like "Are you frickin kidding me?"
Right then, they announce "5 minutes until places".
That's when my alarm went off....
Hmmm..... sounds like an overwhelmed, anxiety dream to me. What do you think?
Yesterday was the birthday of someone who is very important in my life. He is my step-brother, Jon. He is one of the coolest people I've ever met. He came into my life when my Dad married his Mom in January of 1988. He was already moved out of the house so we never lived together.... but, as soon as we met, we instantly had a bond. I used to hang out with him at his house on random weekends when I was growing up. I always felt really comfortable talking to him when I had things on my mind..... and he would give me his honest opinions. When I was doing 42nd Street down in Redondo Beach, I lived at his house for a couple of months....which was a total blast.
I think the world of him and am SO blessed to have him be such a significant part of my life.
Happy Birthday, Jon!
So, I decided last weekend to start looking for a new job. In my free time that I had yesterday, which was maybe 10-15 minutes of free time, I looked on the Entertainmentcareers.net job board. From there, I found a job for Transcontinental Talent Agency... looking for Talent Scouts.... and hell, I know how to identify talent, being in the business for so long. So, I thought.... might as well.
I filled out their short application and attached my recently updated resume. And GUESS WHAT.....
I got an e-mail this morning from the Assistant Director of Scouting! Wo-hoooooo!!
AND my friend, James hooked me up with a friend of his who works for Conde Naste Traveler magazine. I spoke with her last night. Apparently, there is a position available as some sort of Assistant for Allure and Teen People. Sounds good to me. She is forwarding my resume to the powers that be over there.
Keep your fingers crossed for me!
*smile*
This has been the worst week I've had in a long time. Total job bullshit. Mandatory evening events.. I feel like I'm about to throw up and pass out. But no... tonight, Jon and I are driving down to San Diego to spend the night at his parent's house so we can get up tomorrow morning for Leah's Bat Mitzvah. Don't get me wrong, I am SO excited about seeing my family this weekend and supporting Leah, but geesh... I am so exhausted from this week and incredibly unhappy with my job. I am going to be looking for a new job soon.... seriously. I am just not enjoying this kind of work anymore. I will write more about the insanity of the week later.
But, on an up note....
Happy Birthday Dad! and Happy Birthday Leah! I won't give you their ages but they are celebrating birthdays today. And tomorrow is Jacob's birthday (Leah's little brother). So ...
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to Dad, Leah, and Jacob....
Happy Birthday to you!
I am hoping this year will bring wonderful things for all of us.
I am now going home to pass out for a few hours......
I hate today... today blows.... today sucks total ass... big ass crap....
ok, I'm done.
Have you ever been really curious about a time in someone's life.... but been too afraid to ask because you are not sure if you want to know the answer? I stayed up for two hours last night, laying in bed, with my mind racing. Old issues... totally old.... like years ago old.... but I'm still curious. Still wanting to know how you felt in that moment.... what you were thinking.... everything you did that I didn't know about.... that was kept secret from me. In this situation, I found out randomly, months later... but, even then, once I knew, I didn't ask many questions. And now... I think I want to know... but I am terrified by what I may hear.
I keep thinking, it's 2003. Live in the present. Don't dwell on the past. All is good now, why worry.. why dive into old baggage... but deep inside, part of me really wants to know the details.
But will I accept the answers? Will I believe you are being truthful now? Will I understand the situation more or will I be more angry and feel more deceived.
You know, at some point I just have to let things go. This isn't the easiest task for me. Don't get me wrong... I don't hold on to grudges forever or anything. I eventually come to terms with things. I know that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes... I logically know this. But, I can't seem to get this particular situation off of my mind.
I'm still not having a fabulous day... but I came across a client of ours that made me laugh pretty hard. Check out this site for a good laugh.
This morning has sucked BIG time. Ultimate ASS CRAP. Seriously. I got into work this morning, still kind of hung over from the past couple days' festivities... and my computer was dead. Not dead like, oh... I'll just call the Help Desk and they'll fix it. Dead like D-E-A-D. Like, not gonna happen.... like, ALL of my files are GONE. I've been freaking out for the last 3 hours.
Now, I have a new Dell... yay! But, all of my files, proposals, emails, etc, that I had saved on my desk top (like a bonehead) are gone.... not coming back... ever. It has been an incredibly frustrating morning. I have been spending the last hour trying to download things and create new folders on the H drive to ensure I can actually find it someday. This sucks so bad....
While they were working on my new computer, I was logged into someone else's computer.... and THAT didn't work either.
I am really really hoping that the rest of the year isn't going to be like this. Grrrrr......
Hey, Keith... remember that day you lost all of your MP3's? Yeah.... all my music files are gone too. All the fun Tenacious D live cuts I had, all of my showtunes.... Beatles, etc. Oy.
I am going to take a walk..... I think I could use some fresh air....