countdown to the webbies

So tomorrow night is the Webby Awards. I'm starting to get a littke wiggy. I re-read Halcyon's story from last year, but I have a feeling my experience is going to be a little different (I'm not wearing fur, for one thing). And thinking back to my experience at the Cool Site of the Year awards doesn't help, either. There'll be (thankfully) no Robin Leach tomorrow - the emcee is Alan Cumming and I actually really like him.

So I don't know what to do or expect. And, even worse, should I actually win something, which is doubtful, but if I do, what will I say? I mean, five words? Me? I can't even begin a thought in five words. Hell, "Can I tell you a story?" is six.

So, faithful readers, in the tradition of all those who have come before, I ask you: Should I actually find myself in front of a microphone holding an overgrown slinky tomorrow, what should I say?

{ 7:23pm }

» If I were you, I'd thank Dana.

– Geoffrey  { 7.17.01 @ 8:15pm }

» Good idea! But, if I was unclear, I'm asking for suggestions for 5 word speeches. And that was six!

See how hard this is? ;-)

– Derek  { 7.17.01 @ 8:25pm }

» tell someone a story today!

– minnie p.  { 7.17.01 @ 8:32pm }

» Oh, at one point, I did say that, in the unlikely event that I won in the community category, I'd say:

Next year nominate MetaFilter, dammit!

(No promises, though.)

– Derek  { 7.17.01 @ 8:53pm }

» "Interactive Storytelling Changes The World."

Or...."Mr. Donaldson Wears A Toupee!"

Or..."Your Whole Life Is Storytelling."

– Kristin  { 7.17.01 @ 8:56pm }

» I have always said, in the quite unlikely event I am nominated for and win a Webby, my five-word acceptance speech would be: "Refuse to accept others' arbitrary limitations."

I mean, what are they gonna do? Take away the award?

You're welcome to it, my man.

– TheBrad  { 7.17.01 @ 9:14pm }

» You people make me sick.

OR

What are you looking at?!

– Snorgle  { 7.17.01 @ 9:16pm }

» The web is arbitrary limitations (in response to the above comment).

– Shmuel  { 7.17.01 @ 9:45pm }

» Best of Luck D!

I'll be the one wearing a sword and glitter.

...filling the role of "Webby Provacateur" this year.

– Kevin-John  { 7.17.01 @ 10:26pm }

» Dammm... I forgot ...

...ok.. "My" speech.

"Without Love, there is nothing"

...Ok.. mebbe I'm corny

– Kevin-John  { 7.17.01 @ 10:33pm }

» I know I poo-poo'd the webbys a while back on my site, because I didn't like the effect they were having on my friends around me, but this was my top secret dream webby's speech that I came up with last year, as I sat next to Jason. If MetaFilter was nominated this year, I would have definitely done it, I swear to jeebus.

I came up with a speech for Jason last year, which I told him about, but it wasn't all I wanted to say. To get around the five word limit, I saw how Halcyon involved the crowd in his speech, and that sparked this idea. So here's how I saw my acceptance speech going:

- name is called, walk to podium, then step to the side of it.

- remove jacket, exposing custom-made t-shirt that says on the front in huge letters: "THE WEB IS.." -- make everyone in the audience read the shirt aloud

- turn around, and on the back of the shirt, it says "NOT ABOUT..." -- point to the words, and have the crowd read it

- unbutton my pants, lowering them until my underwear is showing, and along my backside, in huge letters is the word "ADVERTISING"

- recap, by making the audience read it together, in a quick motion: "the web is not about advertising..."

- put pants back on, take the mic and say "The Web is about people"

No one would ever forget that valuable phrase, and hey, your ass might get on TV!

– mathowie  { 7.18.01 @ 12:49am }

» At the Yell.com awards last year, when we were picking up an award for Time Out's site, my drunken colleague said "I'd like to thank Bart Simpson and Eric Cartman" then he fell off stage. I said that it was great to be in the company of people like k10k.net, but that we should all remember that independant content publishing and personal websites were the heart and soul of the web.

Link: commentary

I'd go for "It's not ALL about money"

– Tom Coates  { 7.18.01 @ 4:36am }

» My choice is

"Tell your personal stories, dammit!".

Or, you could go Irish -

"Ask me arse, ya gobshite".

Okay, maybe not ;-)

Best of luck Derek.
At the end of the day they're only awards - if you don't get them, big deal. It's not like they'll make your work any better, just because you have an award, right?

– Tom Cosgrave  { 7.18.01 @ 5:50am }

» Do Matt's thing, except change your five words to, "Oh shit... I forgot underwear."

– Scott  { 7.18.01 @ 6:00am }

» Well, you could always thank your mother...remember, seventh grade - Commodore 64! What a trip; from Commodore 64 to Design for Community! Continue to enjoy the adventure. Good luck, Derek...
Momma

– Momma  { 7.18.01 @ 8:19am }

» Sorry, Derek. If I had known your mom read the site, I wouldn't have used a swear word.

I feel so dirty now.

– Scott  { 7.18.01 @ 10:00am }

» Good luck Derek!

– Leslie  { 7.18.01 @ 10:13am }

» Alright! My Powazek's mother number has just gone from two to ONE! SCORE!

Why bother to say all five words? I'm sure everyone will be saying as much as possible. Stick to one. How about "No."? Or "Why?" Or you could just pick one really long word: "heterophenomenological antidisestablishmentarianism."

Congrats, Derek! You deserve it -- although what the heck is "best practices?"

– adam  { 7.18.01 @ 1:58pm }

» Wow, I've seen a lot of threads like this and Matt, that's definitely the best idea I've heard yet.

Next year, when you're nominated, you'll have to do that one :)

– Dave  { 7.18.01 @ 5:15pm }

» And what have we learned from all of this? That Matt Haughey's ass is large enough to bear the word "advertising" in "huge letters".

– TheBrad  { 7.18.01 @ 10:18pm }