Illustration of Derek Powazek by Adam Ellis


Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events is fantastic. It’s better acted, more beautifully stylized, more captivating storytelling, and just more of a joy to behold than any of those wretched Harry Potter movies. And be sure to stay until the very end, the movie has the most beautiful ending credits I’ve ever seen.

Just one thing: If your child is not old enough to READ, then just leave them home, okay? It’s a dark movie, so if your kid’s too young to read, they’re probably too young for the movie. And there’s jokes in text, so if your child asks you, “what does that say?” over and over again, eventually the bitter couple sitting in front of you will turn and say something … unfortunate.

Aside to Jason: Sometimes, when two people love each other VERY MUCH, they use ALL CAPS to denote SARCASM. This is called STYLE. Look it up.

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Hi, I’m Derek. I used to make websites. Now I grow flowers and know things. I’m mostly harmless. More.