Illustration of Derek Powazek by Adam Ellis

A Special Letter from the House of Powazek

I’ve always been the creative sort. A maker of things. With a drive to succeed. And I’ve always dated strong, independent women. Creative types. Writers, actresses, editors, and, God help me, designers.

So it comes as no surprise that I now find myself married to Heather. Beautiful, wonderful, creative, successful Heather. I do love her so.

But there is something wrong with our relationship, my friends, and I’m gonna tell you what it is because, and I mean this, I think we’re really that close. See, last year, something happened. Something so unspeakably horrible that neither of us could have ever predicted it.

Heather won Lifetime Achievement in the Bloggies.

Yes, 2004 will be known to some as the year George Bush was elected again, proving that Americans really are that stupid. 2004 will be known to others as the year of the unfortunate wardrobe malfunction. But to me, it will always the be the year that the dark cloud of Lifetime Achievement gathered over the House of Powazek.

I want you to know that it’s not true what they say. Heather did not use the million dollar prize as a bed to roll around in. She did not use the bills to light fancy cigars made of the finest tobacco in Canada, wrapped in crisp Benjamins. We did not hire a houseboy.

In fact, Heather has never been more gracious, more magnanimous, more humble about her gigantic victory – a victory shared only by those trailblazers of blogness Jeffrey Zeldman, Evan Williams, and Jason Kottke, who all really did hire houseboys.

Which just makes it all that much worse.

People, there’s a deep and scarring inequality in the House of Powazek. But you can make it right. Because, amazingly, I was nominated for Lifetime Achievement this year. And now I have the chance to catch up with my successful bride, if only for one brief, shining moment.

To vote, just visit the URL below, scroll scroll scroll down, look for the “Lifetime Achievement” section and click the box next to “Derek Powazek.” Then just enter an email address and click submit.

Do it to level the playing field for all those guys married to women they know could really kick their asses. Do it for all the out of work houseboys in San Francisco. But, most of all, do it for me, before Thursday, because that’s when the voting ends.

I’d do it for you.


— Derek

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Hi, I’m Derek. I used to make websites. Now I grow flowers and know things. I’m mostly harmless. More.