Illustration of Derek Powazek by Adam Ellis

10 Recent Signs that I’m Becoming a Grownup

I can grow a beard. I just choose not to.

I recently spent $200 on a shirt that has a collar and can only be cleaned by the nice man at the dry cleaners.

The crazy guys in the park who pester me for loose change, tag my building with crap, rifle through my garbage, and scream at the muni line? Totally lost their charm.

When I do my laundry, I separate my clothes into two piles: good stuff and bad stuff. The good stuff goes on the delicate setting and gets hung on hangers. Lately, for the first time in my life, the good pile outweighs the bad pile.

My wife and I joined a temple. As members. Somewhere Rabbi Kaplan, who I once told all about how I didn’t believe in anything, is laughing his ass off.

I just said “my wife” without hesitation or irony.

I’ve been at my current job for a year this week, and it still feels like the beginning of something.

I bought brown leather shoes. On purpose.

I have absolutely no idea what’s playing on Top 40 radio, and I really couldn’t care less.

I can remember a time before cable TV, before the net, before the web, before cellphones, before laptops. And I don’t want to go back.

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Hi, I’m Derek. I used to make websites. Now I grow flowers and know things. I’m mostly harmless. More.