Illustration of Derek Powazek by Adam Ellis

All of This Has a Perfectly Reasonable Explanation, Part 4

Continued from yesterday.

Heather looked at me with a mix of exasperation and unblinking disbelief. But she is my spouse, my love, my dear partner, and she knows that sometimes, when you can’t get around a bad idea, the only option is to power right through it.

We switched seats and suddenly I was white knuckling our little Civic south on the 101, with 80 minutes until our flight, fueled by three hours of sleep. All because I did not want to look crazy.

See? I told you I could explain.

We got home in 15 minutes – a new record – and back to SFO in another 20. But between parking, dashing into the terminal, and swimming to the bag check, we were down to 30 minutes until takeoff. And in this brave new world of fearing any bottle of liquid over 3 ounces, the latest you can check bags is 45 minutes before a flight. We were boned.

Heather looked at me with a mix of pity and I-told-you-so. But I am her spouse, her love, her dear partner, and I know that sometimes I will have to be understanding of the fact that she is going to be right, pretty much all the time, for the rest of our lives together.

We were able to book ourselves on to the next flight, which was set to leave 5 hours later. To pass the time, Heather bought us a day pass to United’s Red Carpet Club. At least, I thought, I’d be able to sit down and get some work done.

I opened up my laptop, and Leopard sprang to life in all its glory: the menus were transparent, the dock was reflective, and the text was all in Swedish.

The End.


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Hi, I’m Derek. I used to make websites. Now I grow flowers and know things. I’m mostly harmless. More.