Why I Blocked You on Twitter, A Compilation
I’ve been using Twitter since 2006, and thanks to their new archive feature, I was recently able to download all of my tweets. I’ve blocked a lot of people over the years – I love my Magic Button – and occasionally I’ll make a mental note of why I did it. Here’s the list so far.
- Replying with “That’s what she said.”
- Shotgun replies (like 10 in a row).
- Being the pope.
- Being Charlie Sheen.
- Being my mom.
- Pedantics. (IE, anyone who knows that should be “pedantism.”)
- Asking me something you could have found in Google in two seconds.
- Repeatedly replying to tweets with your URL.
- Taking me too seriously.
- Demanding that I take you too seriously.
- Anything about Jesus.
- Anything about Gangnam style.
- “PLZ RETWEET!!!”
- Replying with a URL and nothing else.
- Mindless flag-waving “more patriotic than thou” bullshit.
- Hitler jokes.
- Making me explain the joke.
- Supporting Prop 8 (AKA bigotry).
- Bad taste in TV.
- Bad taste in music.
- Bad taste in men.
- Apostrophe abuse.
- Telling me not to be grumpy when I am obviously grumpy.
- Becoming the mayor of anything that’s not a city.
- Unironic use of “LOL.”
- Starfucking.
- Excessive punning.
- “Get a hybrid.”
- I was having a bad day.
- You were having a bad day.
So if I ever blocked you on Twitter, it’s probably one of those things. Or maybe something entirely new. Remember, it’s not you, it’s me. I just think we should follow other people right now. I only want you to be happy.
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AND: Twitter for Adults.