Illustration of Derek Powazek by Adam Ellis

Thanks a lot, Apple

I’ve used Apple computers since high school. If it wasn’t for the Mac, I probably wouldn’t have wound up working for newspapers, getting into the web, moving to San Francisco, and living the life I have now. I’ve sung the Mac’s praises to friends and family for almost twenty years.

And now I know what, or more specifically who, Apple thinks I am.

warren cheswick is not me

Apple thinks I am a whiny kid who looks like he sleeps under a bridge. A kid who murmurs snidely to himself. A kid who can’t grow a beard to save his life. Specifically, this kid.

Apple thinks I’m Cheswick from Ed, Justin from Dodgeball, and Darry Jenner from Jeepers Creepers. All stammering, awkward kids, played for a laugh.

Don’t get me wrong: I think it’s nice that Apple is finally touting its computers again. I just wish they could have done it in a way that didn’t make me want to defenstrate my laptop and go buy a computer from that funny guy playing the PC.


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Hi, I’m Derek. I make awesome community-centric web stuff. I sometimes post things to Instagram. I’m mostly harmless. More.





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