Illustration of Derek Powazek by Adam Ellis

“Are You a Journalist?”

A story that can now be told.

I was in a movie theater a few weeks ago. In the dim light, while Heather was off getting treats, I looked around and noticed that everyone in the theater was poking at some kind of glowing device. But one person was doing a unique flick-flick-flick with his index finger.

I scooted over to him and said, “Excuse me, is that what I think it is?”

He held it to his chest. “Are you a journalist?”

“No,” I said.

“A blogger?”

“Oh c’mon,” I said. “Who’s not a blogger at this point?”

He relented and handed it over. It was a real, live iPhone.

I poked at it timidly. It was almost intimidating. I was sure I was going to drop it or find his nudie bookmarks or something. I took a photo in the theater (totally black – the iPhone camera, like most cellcams, sucks in low light), poked at a few notes, and handed it back.

I said thanks and realized I’d never introduced myself. “I’m Derek,” I said.

He told me his name and said he was a programmer on the iPhone team. I won’t post his name here. Partly because I wouldn’t want to get him in trouble, but mostly because his eyes darted up and to the right when he told it to me, so I’m pretty sure it was a fake.

Whoever you are, mister iPhone programmer, thanks for the preview.

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Hi, I’m Derek. I used to make websites. Now I grow flowers and know things. I’m mostly harmless. More.