Illustration of Derek Powazek by Adam Ellis

The Longest Day of the Year

Saturday is the longest day of the year. When Heather told me this today, I thought it was a setup for a joke, like “your momma’s so fat.” We then spent the next 30 minutes making up punchlines.

  • Saturday is so long, you can see it from space!
  • Saturday is so long, Sunday had to buy a convertible just to feel adequate!
  • Saturday is so long, pants! (Look, pants are always funny.)
  • Saturday is so long, it could stretch to the moon and back and still kick you in the nuts!

Okay, some were funnier than others.

Think you can do better? Let’s hear it.

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Hi, I’m Derek. I used to make websites. Now I grow flowers and know things. I’m mostly harmless. More.