Thursday, November 30, 2000

VERY EXCITED!!! I have an audition next Thursday with Craig Carnelia. He is an amazing composer who is currently writing lots of stuff for broadway and knows a lot of people. In fact, my boyfriend has some of his cd's and has done some of his songs. He teaches a musical theatre class that is suppossedly one of the best classes to take in New York City. Apparently, every person in his class is IN a Broadway show and has a long list of credits. It would be so good for me to be emerged in that kind of creative energy again!

This all came about through Sandy Faison, the producer of Both Barrels (the show I did in LA). I emailed her recently and asked if she had any suggestions of people to take class from. She gave me Craig's name AND home phone number and told me to mention her name. So, I had called yesterday and left a message. He called me back today and said, "I just spoke with Sandy and she said that you are absolutely fabulous!" OH MY GOSH- I love her! So, he'd like me to come in and sing for him next week for the January-February class. I guess the class is really hard to get into- everyone wants to be in it. I've heard he is a great teacher as well as an amazing connection to have in the business. Hmmmmmmm.... he wants a simple ballad! And, he said, "I am really looking forward to meeting you and hearing you sing!"

HELL YEAH!!!! :)
12:48 PM

And yes, I did tape Felicity and am planning on watching it tonight!
7:55 AM

My Dad called me last night before I went out, from his cell phone, while he was stuck in traffic in LA. How cool is that?
This is my Dad, who is the only person on earth that doesn't have call waiting at his home.
This is my Dad, who I at one time had to tell, "It's ok Dad, you can call me anytime. Don't worry, you aren't interfering with my life or imposing on my freedom!".
This is my Dad, who for about two years, we really didn't talk much at all.
This is my Dad, who I would have to skirt around certain subjects with because I knew they would create conflict.
And this is my Dad, who called me last night, from the freeway, on his new cell phone- just to chat! It made me so happy.

My relationship with my dad has been, at times, rather complicated. Our communication can go from a level of intense connection and total understanding of eachother, all the way to complete misinterpretations and NOT communicating at all! It seems we've been on the right track these days. It is incredibly comforting to know that as we get older, we're learning and supporting and accepting each other for who we truly are...... how nice.
7:40 AM

Karaoke last night was sooooooo much fun! The last time I went Karaoking was with David, about four years ago!! I was actually a little nervous.

David picked me up and we DROVE into the city. It was so nice not to have to walk and take the subway, especially because it was cold and raining! We went to this dive called Saint's on Amsterdam and 109th Street. It's one of those places that you wouldn't even notice if you were just walking by. It is very small- just a long bar and a pool table in the back.

David started the evening off with a rendition of I Turn to You, Christina Aguilera. The crowd went wild! He was fierce, as always. My first song was Hit Me With Your Best Shot, Pat Benetar. Everyone loved that selection and sang along. Then Colleen and I did Proud Mary- hilarious. It wasn't the fast version, you know, when Tina would go nuts.....but we ripped up the dance instrumental breaks! She would sing "rollin", and I would echo her, singing really low "roll-i-in". FUN!! I sang one more song- ARETHA FRANKLIN- You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman. I love that song. It was totally great. I forgot how high that song goes....but I wailed. It was a blast. Colleen and I then played a game of pool against two other girls. Let me tell you, Colleen can play pool! She had some great shots. Unfortunately, I was a useless player as I didn't hit ONE ball in. I never was good at geometry. Still, we won....thanks to Colleen.

It was an excellent evening. I got home and was so stinky from all of the smoke, I showered and was in bed by 2:00 am. I slept better in the four and a half hours of sleep that I got last night, than I have all week.
6:51 AM

Wednesday, November 29, 2000

I'm going to a Karaoke bar tonight with two of my friends. I haven't been Karaoking for over a year, and that's .....OK!! It just seemed like a fun thing to do. I haven't really been out much lately so- why not? I'm sure we'll do some Donna Summers, Aretha Franklin and Carpenters.....a good mix!
1:58 PM

I just spoke with my friend Colleen. She told me the funniest story. She said that she recently went to this voice over audition in the city. Before she went in, everyone auditioning was chit-chatting about what they did for a living and sharing other random tidbits of information. One woman said that she auditions for voice-overs during the late afternoons and works in a dungeon as a Dominatrix- spanking people from 10:00 at night until 3:00 the next afternoon!!! OH MY GOSH. How would you feel saying you spanked people for a living? To each, his own......everyone's got to make money somehow, I guess!
11:58 AM

Tuesday, November 28, 2000

Leaving soon......I was suppossed to go to the gym and take an abs class tonight with Carrie.....but, since it hurts to laugh, cough, sneeze, and/or breathe, I am not going to go to the gym tonight! Instead, we are going to meet for dinner at a Vegetarian restaurant uptown. They don't use any sugar, dairy, or meat products (duh)- all good for you stuff! And Carrie says it's amazing food! So, off I go, walking slowly.
I think I may ice my abs tonight when I get home. It worked for my calves!!
2:34 PM

getting progressively more and more sore as the day goes on.........
12:16 PM

I was feeling large-and-in-charge from everything I ate over the holiday weekend so I went to the gym last night. The funny thing about that is that I haven't been to the gym in over a month. Knowing that, and knowing that my calves cramp easily if they're overworked, I should've had the sense to take it easy. But no. I was the Bionic Woman last night and took THREE classes! Yes, three. I took an abs class which was HELL and then immediately following that, a pilates class, which focuses on your ABS!! And then, right after that, I took a steps class. Am I on crack or what? I iced my calves when I got home so they are doing ok.......but my abs.......ouch, they are sore!

Last night, after working from 8:45-5:30, I got home around 10:00. That's when I ate my healthy dinner- a quesadilla with beans, cheese, sour cream, and salsa......and lots and lots of water! hee hee hee. I was totally exhausted, but I still didn't sleep well last night......again. This is the second night in a row that I was up almost all night.

Maybe that's why I'm so crabby.
10:01 AM

Elevator Etiquette:

1. When you get in, push your desired floor number and MOVE AWAY from the buttons so the other people can push their floor numbers. Do not block the buttons and then give dirty looks when someone tries to get around you.

2. If you aren't getting off until the 14th floor and there are 5 other people getting off at earlier floors, DON'T stand at the front of the elevator, in the middle of the door. Step aside, buddy! And, move out of the way when people are trying to get out. Don't look surprised when others are trying to get by you while you're blocking the door......you can see the other numbers lit up.......numbers that come BEFORE your floor! WAKE UP!!

3. Keep your voices at a minimal level when the elevator is full of people. Don't scream or laugh loudly with your buddy. Be aware there are OTHER people in there besides you.

4. Hitting the 'door close' button ten times, everytime someone gets out, does NOT make things go along faster. The door will automatically close behind that person. It's set to do that, honestly, I'm not lying.

5. If you are in the elevator by yourself, sing, do a dance, pick your nose, scratch your butt, adjust yourself, do whatever the hell you want because you won't annoy anyone else!! Just be aware if the elevator stops unexpectedly at a floor before yours to let someone else on; immediately stop individualistic behavior, as it might cause embarrassment.

Hmmmmmmmm.....someone's cranky today.
7:42 AM

Monday, November 27, 2000

Did I happen to mention just how much I ate and drank for the past 5 days?? Oh my goodness.......I feel like a stuffed turkey! So, I am on my way to the gym to sweat my fat away!! I haven't been to the gym in weeks- I hope I will be able to move tomorrow!
2:01 PM

For lunch, I got a salad with a scoop of tuna on it. I needed something besides turkey or chicken. It looked really good.
As I took my sixth bite, I noticed a BUG!! Gross! Not only that, I found ANOTHER BUG!! So, with no appetite left, I took my salad up to the cafeteria and went straight to the manager. She apologized profusely, let me pick out whatever I wanted to eat for free, and handed me two $5.00 gift certificates for the cafeteria. SCORE!! Although I wasn't too hungry for my sandwich that I picked out, I was very excited about my $10.00 worth of gift certificates.
10:39 AM

Bluelight.com, my free internet provider, was having trauma all weekend. I couldn't get online at all, ALL weekend. I was not a happy camper. I've never been so motivated to come to work on a Monday!

So, it wasn't a white Thanksgiving. It hasn't snowed yet, but it is freakin cold. The forecast shows a possible snow on Friday.

Thanksgiving was good. Our turkey was so yummy. We followed a recipe given to us by Crystal, an ex-girlfriend of my step-borther's. Anyway, her recipe was garlic, rosemary, and butter. It was amazing!! Everything turned out really good except the gravy. I'm not sure what I did to it, but it looked like jello! Maybe a little too much corn starch. Who knows. We had fun though. Sat around, ate a lot, got really silly, saw Betrayal (a broadway play), and slept in! Definitely good times. Now, back to the grind at Merrill Lynch!
6:42 AM

Wednesday, November 22, 2000

Well, I'm off......Happy Thanksgiving!! I hope you are all eating good food, smiling, laughing, telling funny stories, and are surrounded by those you love and those who love you.
That's really what it's about.
12:48 PM

It's supposed to snow tonight and tomorrow! Wow, a white Thanksgiving. It was 28 degrees today but with the wind chill, it was 15. Geesh- I am a California Girl. My poor skin is flaking and falling off.
12:14 PM

Jon's here!!!! He came in last night around midnight. *smile* It's so nice to wake up next to him!

I get off of work early today, 4:00.....everyone does....it's a Merrill Lynch thing. That means only two more hours of work today. YAHHOOOOO.

It's Wednesday.....you know what that means......FELICITY, tonight @ 9:00.
10:57 AM

I talked to my Dad last night........we had a great talk. It's weird, sometimes we totally connect and other times we DO NOT connect at all! Last night....... we connected. He gave me advise on my "panic attack" on the subway yesterday morning. He said that the most important thing is to get back on the subway and not alter my routine in any way. If I don't conquer the fear, the anxiety will grow bigger and bigger. He's right. So, after work, I got on the N train, put my walkman on, tried to tune out everyone else.....and arrived safely at my stop. Very stoked!

The problem was this morning. I walked up to the platform and there were two N trains waiting, like usual. One train was getting ready to leave and had very few seats left and people already standing. The other train was empty and therefore seemed much more inviting- although it wouldn't be leaving for another 10 minutes. So, I had a decision to make.......... take the safe route or hop on the train that was leaving first........of course, I wasn't in any hurry.......

"CONQUER YOUR FEAR", my head was saying......so, with a bit of trepidation, I jumped on the train with all of the people on it! I found a seat, sat down, and the doors shut...... I took a deep breath.......took off my hat, gloves and scarf........unbuttoned my coat.......put on my walkman, Indigo Girls.........and shut my eyes as the train began to move. Deeply breathing.

As we approached the dreaded tunnel, my stomach began to turn and I got a little anxious......keep breathing......in for three, hold for three, out for three.......look around......where's the nearest window?...... closed my eyes again....think about the music, Watershed...

"You can stand there and agonize, till your agony's your heaviest load. You'll never fly like the crow flies, get used to a country mile. When your learning to face, the path at your pace....every choice is worth your while!"

It made me smile. I opened my eyes to find that we were stopped in that underwater tunnel. "every choice is worth your while" OK, I have two choices....one is to freak out ....the other is to keep breathing and focus on the music. I chose the latter.....I turned up the music, took a deep breath, and the train slowly started moving again. Hallelujah, praise the lord!! I made it! I've never been so glad to see Lexington!!

I don't think I am completely over my anxiety, but everytime I go through that bitch-of-a-tunnel, it gets a little bit easier.
6:39 AM

Tuesday, November 21, 2000

Only an hour left of work today. Having a bit of anxiety about getting on the subway tonight. Maybe I will just put my walkman on and try to fall asleep.......yeah that sounds good. On my way home, I am going to buy my thanksgiving items at the grocery store......including the bird itself.
1:29 PM

Had comfort food for lunch- grilled cheese and soup. Still a little off-balance though.
10:46 AM

Don't you hate it when you get into an elevator and there is one guy who stands right in front of the door, even though he has 14 floors to go?......and everytime someone gets off of the elevator, he presses the 'close door' button 5 times.......Doesn't he know that A. he is in everyone's way, and B. the door WILL shut by itself even if you don't press the 'close door' button 20 times? Frickin Merrill Lynch people!
10:45 AM

still light-headed and dizzy......
8:40 AM

What a morning this has been!! I got up early this morning, because I went to bed at 9:30 (which is early for me). On my way to the subway, I stopped into Dunkin Donuts for some Cinnamon Coffee. That was all normal and fine.....except for the fact that it was 31 degrees out and no buses in sight. No problem, it felt good to walk the ten blocks to the subway. The trauma started once I climbed the stairs to the subway platform. Usually, there is a train waiting up there in the morning because Ditmars (my stop) is the last stop on the N train. This is a good thing because you can always find a seat. Once the train gets going, by the third stop, people are already standing. But not this morning. No. This morning, there were no trains on the platform and already 100 people waiting! What a drag. So, I waited along with everyone else and their mothers for the late N train.

When the N train finally came, five minutes later, everyone piled in- scattering, trying to find a seat. I was fortunate enough to get the middle seat of a three person row. On my left was a young, married man, looking through a J.Crew catalog. On my right was a very large man who looked and smelled like a walrus. The walrus-man was so large that I couldn't sit back in my seat. I had to sort of twist so that my left shoulder was on the back of the seat and my right shoulder was far in front of him. I could tell it was going to be a bumpy ride because before the train even started moving, there were already about 30 people standing!

At the second stop, another 50 people piled in. By this point, my car was completely full. One woman even said "Don't push me, I'm pregnant!" That's when I started to feel uneasy. I decided to start focusing on my breathing. My Dad gave me techniques on how to relax by breathing slowly in for three seconds and out for three seconds. (I do those exercises when I freak out on planes) I began my breathing exercises. The walrus-man had his eyes closed and was talking to himself. Normal behavior for New Yorkers. Every 30 seconds he would do that disgusting thing where you deeply sniff and then cough up a bunch of shit. You know, when people have too much phlegm or allergy problems or something. Either way, it is TOTALLY gross!! Along with my deep breathing now, I was trying to "think lovely thoughts" as Peter Pan once said, in order to keep my stomach from turning.

On our way from Astoria into the city, the N train goes underground, through a tunnel.

Suddenly, the train STOPPED!!!!!!!

A man came over the intercom and said that there was a train ahead of us at the Lexington station and that we would be moving shortly. Deep breathing.........thinking about ice cream and the Powerpuff girls, and........then my ears popped, I got incredibly dizzy, and my heart started racing. Mind you, there are 300 people in this car, all dressed in wool and heavy clothes (myself included), the heater on, and we're stopped in a dark tunnel, 30 feet under water!! I yelled out, "can someone open a window?" I was either going to throw up or pass out. Luckily I was close to a window. I was like a dog trying to keep her head above water, inhaling in an attempt to get some air. The nice man next to me asked if I was dizzy. "Yes", I said. He continued to talk to me, telling me we should be moving soon and we were almost there....to keep breathing. The walrus-man was still mumbling to himself with his eyes closed. Now, everyone was staring at me with awaiting eyes to see if the "closterphobic girl" was going to pass out. We started moving and eventually made it to the next stop. I was shaking pretty badly. A lot of people got off at Lexington and not many people got back on so the train was not as crowded. I was a little ambivilant about staying on the train but it really wasn't too packed AND the walrus-man got off so I had a little bit more breathing room. The train conductor announced that it was now going to be an express train. Thank goodness. Now I only had 4 more stops to Cortland Street instead of 12!!!

I was a bit worried when we got to my stop. I wasn't sure if my legs would hold me up- I was still shaking a lot. But, I got up ok......walked slowly to the Merrill Lynch building, got to my desk, and just sat for awhile. I realized I hadn't eaten this morning and maybe that was part of it. I grabbed a bagel and gobbled it up. I am still feeling dizzy though. That really freaked me out. I hope I don't develop clausterphobia or some weird phobia to the subways. That would make trying to get around pretty difficult here. I've never had anything like that happen before.

I think deep breathing and good thoughts will be my theme for today.
7:23 AM

Monday, November 20, 2000

Jon has these two roommates, Damien and Andy. They are both musical theatre students at the Conservatory. Damien is kind of quiet, smokes a lot of pot, and works most of the weekend.....so I didn't see him all that much. Andy is rather loud and self indulgent, does lots of drugs, and likes to bring people over to the apartment at ALL hours of the evening. So, Saturday night, after Jon's show, we came home, had a few beers with Andy and his friend (who were on acid), and decided to retire to the bedroom for the evening. Next thing you know, ten people are over......drinking and smoking and being LOUD. Jon and I watched a movie to try and drown out the noise. When the movie is over at 2:30 am, everyone is still partying in the living room! At 4:30 am, Jon finally went out to the living room and kindly requested that everyone keep it down because we were trying to sleep!! Before getting too irritated, I tried to remember how I was during my college days. Was I like that? Somehow it just doesn't seem the same.
6:37 AM

Boston was ........cold!! I had a good time but it wasn't long enough. I got in around 11:30 pm on Friday night and left at 1:30 on Sunday!! So, basically I had Saturday.
On Saturday, we went out to lunch and saw THE GRINCH. Oh my gosh....it was absolutely amazing. Everything about it....the sets, the costumes, the direction, and all of the actors were incredible. Jim Carey was brilliant. Jon and I had some pee-laughing moments. I would definitely recommend seeing it. Saturday night, I saw Jon in The Grapes of Wrath at the Boston Conservatory. He's been telling me how awful the director is and how there was no concept, but I was pleasantly surprised. It is depressing as hell and rather long, but it had some really great moments. Jon, of course, was wonderful!!
6:16 AM

Friday, November 17, 2000

Why is it that after lunch, I get sooooooo sleepy? Maybe it's because my body is taking up so much energy trying to digest that heavy mac and cheese that I ate. It's also really quiet here today. That doesn't help things! I am trying to read but my eyes are watering and starting to close. I wonder if anyone would care if I went into an office and took a little nap!
10:39 AM

I get so excited on Fridays. I was especially looking forward to this friday because I get to go see Jon in Boston!! AND, I have a new outfit on so I feel really cute! :)

Guess who got a massage last night? That's right, baby!! My body has felt totally out of alignment due to stress and walking these dirty streets of New York in high boots!! So, I got a reflexology massage, which comes from the Chinese medicine approach to healing. They believe that there are points all over your feet which directly correspond with your heart, mind, energy level, digestion, headaches, and lots of other functions/organs. Suppossedly, pressing on these pressure points, not only relieves muscle soreness but also illeviates problems you may be having emotionally and/or physically and rebalances you. Puts things back in perspective. It's really an interesting approach to healing. I am always open to new methods of healing the body and mind. I'm not sure if this "worked" but either way it was absolutely amazing....... and well deserved!
8:13 AM

Thursday, November 16, 2000

OH- Felicity was so good last night. I really love that show. John Ritter is on it now, playing Ben's, recovering alcoholic father. His character is really sleazy. It puts a weird twist on the show.

I met Foote at Starbucks last night and then we headed over to TGIFridays. Yummy. They have really good salads! I was glad we got a chance to talk. I don't remember the last time we hung out, just the two of us. She is struggling with the same thing I am......being in New York but not having your heart here. Her heart is in California, mine is in Boston. It makes it hard to put all of your energy into being here when part of you wants to be somewhere else......part of you is somewhere else. It was a good talk.

9:58 AM

Wednesday, November 15, 2000

Tonight- FELICITY 9:00 Don't miss it!!
1:06 PM

Meeting Foote for dinner....yay.......two dinner dates in one week! RETURN OF THE FRIENDS!!
to be continued..........
12:06 PM

Just spoke with my brother.....he's so cool. He is going to help me make this web page look better. I am very excited about that.

Tonight, I'm getting a haircut. I called for a 6:00 appointment but he already had a client then.......errrgh... so, I am taking off work a little early and having a 5:00 appointment. A half hour later, I'm talking with my friend, Tiffany about our evening plans. I told her that I was getting a haircut at 5:00 because "some snatch already took the 6:00 appointment"!

That's when she told me what she was doing tonight.
SHE is the "snatch" with the appointment at 6:00!
12:04 PM

It's 2:37...... make a wish!
11:37 AM

Dinner last night with cousin Sheila was SO GREAT!! She really is cool. I wish she wasn't so busy! She totally seems like someone I really would enjoy hanging with! And, being that we ARE family, we should hang out more and get to know eachother. We may connect sometime after Thanksgiving. It feels good knowing that there's family living close by in this crazy ass city!!
7:24 AM

Tuesday, November 14, 2000

very sleepy........I am having dinner tonight with my cousin, Sheila. I have hung out with her once......and it was four years ago!! Crazy! She was cool then....so, why not? She works for Universal Records as a publicist. That should be interesting to hear about. My aunt said she's working right now with Bon Jovi and Melissa Ethridge. EXCELLENT!! Love her! I just hope I can stay awake until 6:45.
11:36 AM

Last night, as the last page of that damn fax was going through, my boss came back to the office from a reception. He yelled at me, "Why are you still here?" I explained to him that one of the lawyers had this 30 page document that had to be confirmed yadda, yadda, yadda.... So, he gave me a voucher to take a car home! SCORE. In case you're wondering what a "car" is......In New York, there are taxis and "cars", which are essentially Lincoln's. They swarm the area down here at the World Trade Center, waiting to take the big wigs to meetings or luncheons or dentist appointments. Wherever they need to go. AND, it's all on the company's expense! (We love Merrill Lynch)

So, I get my coat, walk downstairs, and get into my awaiting car (#31). Immediately, I dial information for Pizza Palace, a local pizzaria in Astoria. Being that it was now 8:00 and I had eaten last at 12:00, I was starving! I ordered a cheese pizza and a Greek Salad, no onions, for pick up. My driver was really cool and didn't mind stopping there on the way home. By 8:30, I had my PJ's on, the tv on 7th Heaven (why??) and a piece of pizza in my mouth. Ah, true heaven. Next thing you know, tears are streaming down my face, watching as Mary is sent away because of her irresponsible behavior.

Now, I don't watch 7th Heaven regularly (on purpose), but I think I was so stressed out from my 12 hour day, that something just triggered my emotional release button and there I was....bawling symbolically over the loss of Mary. It felt good.

As I was watching Ally McBeal, I found myself dozing off. I decided to jump in the shower and then just go to bed. It was only 10:15 by then but I just couldn't keep my eyes open. Around midnight, Jon called. I'm not sure what I said, but I remember crying.
7:26 AM

Monday, November 13, 2000

I woke up this morning at 5:30 am and got to work at 7:30 am. The woman that usually does all of the work here was on vacation Friday and today. I actually worked....hard! It is now 6:21pm and I am STILL at work. I can't leave until these very important faxes (30 pages each) go through to 6 different people. So, basically....I am putting in a 12 hour day today. I love the overtime but I am getting a bit tired and hungry. Oy.....at least I know I will be going home to an empty house! amen.
3:25 PM

There is this really nice man, here at Merrill Lynch, who comes around everyday to polish the big-wig's shoes. I asked him how much it would cost to polish my boots.

He said, "4 bucks!"

"Oh My!! That's it?"

So, the next thing you know, I am sitting at my desk, in my socks, while he is polishing my boots.

These Nine West boots, that were scuffed all over the place from this dirty city, look immaculate!! They seriously look brand new. Thank you Mr. Shoe Polishman!! I think I may make this a monthly thing.
9:37 AM

Last night, I had a few drinks with my roommate and her friends at this local bar in Astoria. They've got great mixed drinks. This morning, she left to do the first national tour of Swing. Very cool..... for many reasons.

First- she is a very talented dancer and this will be a great opportunity for her.

Second- she is going to be gone until mid July.

Third- she is still going to pay the rent!

And finally- I get the whole house to MYSELF!!! How stoked am I?

PARTY AT MY HOUSE!!!
8:45 AM

Saturday, November 11, 2000

It's Veteran's day weekend......didn't know that.....went shopping....HUGE mistake!! There was a parade all down 5th avenue. It took me an hour, trapped in the middle of tons of people, to get 6 blocks! Was not the least happy! But I'm home now, watching the Powerpuff Girl's Music Marathon on Cartoon Network!!!!! *smile*
3:56 PM

Friday, November 10, 2000

Did you know that it's FRIDAY!!! Totally stoked. It is incredibly slow here at Merrill. Thank goodness I have this book......The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove by, Christopher Moore. If you are looking for a bizarre, crazy, wacko kind-of book, this is the one!! It is so weird! I am twenty pages away from finishing it.

Only 5 more hours today....and then dinner at Manhattan Chili Company with Tiffany! Yeah friends!
9:40 AM

Thursday, November 09, 2000

I'm wearing my new Powerpuff Girl's watch that Jon got for me! It has Bubbles on the front today. You can change the faces depending on your mood. Bubbles is the one who is giggley and silly and always smiling. It helped me smile today.
2:02 PM

So, I went to the audition. I was number 47 which I thought was pretty good....considering 7 is one of my lucky numbers and I was in the first group of 50 to dance. They called us all in, taught the short tap combination.......and then made us do it BY OURSELVES with NO MUSIC!!! Yeah....that was a little nerve racking. Since I was 47, I had to wait for 46 people to do it......of all different rhthyms...all different styles. It got me very nervous. I kept thinking that I forgot what the real combination was!

Well, they called out my name, I smiled, held my head up, and did the combination....perfectly. I felt very good about it. After all 50 of us had our one minute of stardom, they took us into a different room and called out 15 names of those they wanted to stay. .........

mine wasn't one of them.

Oh well! It seems the girls they kept were the taller ones.....although some of them didn't do the combination perfectly......they were sloppy with their sounds. It just goes to show you; you never know what they're looking for.

They announced that even if they didn't ask you to stay today, they still may call you in the next couple of weeks to be seen again or to sing. Whatever. That's just a mind fuck. I wish they wouldn't say that because now I get to think about it for the next week or so. "Oooooh.....maybe they'll still call."

whatever.......so, now I am still sick......still no voice.......and back at work.
8:43 AM

Wednesday, November 08, 2000

slept all day, except to watch the election results.......which kept me up most of the night. I am so confused.

I am home sick again today. I have an audition tomorrow for 42nd Street, which is going to Broadway! I would like to be well for it. As of now, I still have 1/4th of a voice. Thank goodness it's a dance call. We'll see. I'd rather not go than give a bad audition because I am still weak. We'll see. Being sick makes me even more depressed than I already was....

Check out fray.com. My brother has some really great personal stories on voting and the election.
8:19 AM

Tuesday, November 07, 2000

sick......no voice.....went to vote.....got to work......being sent home....too sick to work.......going to sleep.
6:45 AM

Monday, November 06, 2000

mmmmm....Cuban food. It was excellent.

I had a very productive weekend. Did laundry, cleaned the house, rented movies....... was totally bored!

Got sick.....sore throat..... no voice! Unfortunately, I don't think Kan Jang can stop the inevitable.
10:34 AM

Friday, November 03, 2000

YEAH!! It's finally friday! And, I only have a half hour more of work! YIPPPPEEEE...then, Cuban food with Carrie tonight. I've never had Cuban food before. I've heard it's yummy. I'm looking forward to a night out. It's been a long time. I was starting to think my friends hated me! :o
2:06 PM

Thursday, November 02, 2000

Is it Friday yet?
9:03 AM

Wednesday, November 01, 2000

Halloween this year consisted of Kentucky Fried Chicken with mashed potatoes and coleslaw, an Origins Ginger Milk bath,and Drop Dead Gorgeous. Not really your "normal" Halloween activities, but hey, what's "normal" these days anyway? It was a very therapeutic Halloween.
10:01 AM

Kan Jang, a natural healer ...... my Mom gave me this stuff while I was home in LA. I've been taking it twice a day whenever I feel a cold coming on. It has saved the day! I feel so much better. Thanks mom!
9:52 AM