Michael, I hope you feel better! Get lots of rest, drink lots of OJ, and take your vitamins!! :) 2:07 PM
Tonight, I am off to see my friend, Virginia do her cabaret show at the Triad. I'm going to meet Jeffrey on the upper west side for dinner (Burritoville, yummy!!) and then catch the show. After the show, we'll meet up with Tiffany who is in town for the evening! Yipppeeee.... We'll grab a quick drink and then I will head home....I have an audition tomorrow for the national tour of Kiss Me Kate. I am a bit nervous about it. Supposedly it's a big ole dance audition...a difficult one! I haven't been in a dance class for months and feel totally out of shape. Yes, I lost a lot of weight and phsically look better, but I'm not very confident about my dancing right now......simply because I haven't done it in so long. I'm hoping it will just come back to me like riding a bike. Yikes.... I think I will be really sore for the rest of the week. Maybe I'll wake up really early and work out/stretch! Good idea. Please send lots of positive vibes tomorrow morning if at all possible!! I'll definitely need it! 2:04 PM
Wow....totally rough to get out of bed this morning. It was a long, fun-filled weekend. This morning, I spent ten minutes looking for my necklace which was already hanging around my neck.....guess I'm just a little bit out of it! It was actually pretty funny. The Cinnamon coffee is helping me wake up!
Jeffrey and I didn't end up going over to Carrie's last night....she totally flaked. I should've known she would....oh well. We ordered Showtime for the night and made some tuna noodle cassarole and watched the show, Queer as Folk!! It was kind of weird seeing the guy that I went out with Friday night, making out with another GUY on tv!! Totally trippy! He's a really good actor.....looked cute on the show. Just kind of bizarre.....I giggled a whole bunch. 7:50 AM
Sunday, April 29, 2001
So much fun this weekend....not a lot of time to write....but briefly....went out with Jeffrey to a bar, had some drinks, got home to a message from the boy, called the boy, went out with the boy, had an AMAZING evening... talked about everything, had a great voice lesson, went to an awesome show Saturday night....my favorite Broadway composer, Jason Robert Brown (wrote Parade and Songs for a New World), did laundry today, met some guys at the laundromat, and then Jeffrey and I are going over to Carrie's house tonight to watch Queer as Folk (which the boy is in..... playing a new character). How about them apples? Things are looking up! 2:25 PM
This weekend....HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Shane, Erin, and Heather. I hope you are all having a great day and are surrounded by lots of smiles and laughter. 2:20 PM
Friday, April 27, 2001
Last night after work, I decided to take a cab home. I really couldn't take the subway because my bouquet of flowers was way too big and heavy to carry all of the way home. I was waiting and waiting for a yellow cab....there were cash cars but they told me it would be $30 to Astoria!! Can you believe that? I was like.....NO WAY!! So, I waited and waited and began to get more and more frustrated standing out there. Finally, 25 minutes later, a yellow cab pulled up and I loaded my flowers in and sat down.....relief! I told him where to take me and he kind of laughed. He said
You know, we are in the middle of nowhere. Whether we go to Queens, Brooklyn, or Washington Heights....we are still in the middle of nowhere.
I giggled.....
and then he said
My job is to rescue you from the middle of nowhere.
and I said
Do you know how long I've been waiting for someone to say that to me?
He had no idea just how much what he'd said meant to me. It really had so many meanings. The rest of the ride home, we talked about politics, religion, work, and just life in general. It was truly an amazing conversation. I finally asked him what his name was and where he was from. He told me his name was Emanuel and he was from Nigeria......moved to New York to have a better life......I shook his hand and thanked him for the ride and the great talk.....I told him that I hoped I'd end up in his cab again.....someday. 8:37 AM
Thursday, April 26, 2001
OH MY GOSH..... I just got a HUGE bouquet of flowers from my boss for Secretary's day. The vase is over a foot tall and is filled with a dozen yellow roses, calilillies, lillies, tulips, snap dragons, and a bunch of other stuff. It is enormous and absolutely breath taking....I shed a few tears......so sweet. Now I need to figure out how I'm going to get it home on the subway!! Thanks Carlos! 11:49 AM
It's Bring Your Daughter to Work With You day at Merrill Lynch today. There are billions of little girls from ages 7-15 wandering around up here, giggling, skipping....it's all very cute. Merrill Lynch is hosting all of these kids...giving them ML bags filled with goodies... teaching them what the ML company is all about...and letting them hang out with mom or dad at the office for the day. I think that is pretty cool. It's a side of the parent that the kids don't usually get to see. When I was back in LA, I worked for my Dad's office for a couple of months......I wanted to earn some extra cash before moving to New York, and they needed a front receptionist....perfect! I really enjoyed watching my Dad at work, in action, with patients. I remember one day, I called him "Dad" in front of one of his patients. I quickly learned that that wasn't a good idea.....for the rest of the summer, he was "Dr. Powazek" or "Dr. P". Every now and then, when I was in grade school or Jr. High, and I had a day off, I would go to school with my mom and spend the day grading papers and watching her teach. Again, another enlightening experience. I think my Mom kind of got a kick out of me being there too. Although, one time, I fell asleep on my desk in the back of the classroom. One of my Mom's students raised his hand and said, "Your daughter is asleep!!" I was so embarassed....and so was my Mom!! 11:35 AM
A new visitor to my site signed my guest book and informed me of a site called The Glamorous Life. It is a soap-opera style story that follows a young woman on a bus and truck tour of a musical called The Count of Monte Cristo. The story is absolutely hysterical! I printed the whole thing out and read it on the subway home last night.....laughed my head off. Thank you so much for the tip! I can tell I will be a weekly follower....can't wait for episode 9!! 7:23 AM
TOTALLY STOKED.....my friend, Kate Levering is on the cover of Time Out New York this week!! (Thank you, Michael for the link!!) How freaking cool is that? She is playing Peggy Sawyer in the new 42nd Street revival on Broadway. You GO ON GIRL!! 7:05 AM
Last night, my friend Jeffrey came over. I made a yummy dinner.....turkey kielbasa with red peppers, green peppers, onions, and green squash and broccoli cheese rice! It was sooooo good! We hung out, drank some Heineken's and watched Felicity. It was an awesome episode. I can't wait until next week. 7:02 AM
Wednesday, April 25, 2001
Still at work....getting ready to go home.....can't believe it is almost May!! 3:01 PM
Tonight......Dawson's and Felicity!! Very excited. 11:42 AM
Kaycee, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I think you are a true warrior. Thank you for being an inspiration to me and my life. 7:29 AM
Yesterday.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOOTE! and Happy Birthday to the boy! I called him to wish him a happy birthday. He seemed glad to hear from me....thought it was very sweet for me to remember. He said he'd like to hook up this week sometime and that he'd call me......whatever. I'm not holding my breath. 7:11 AM
It's Secretary's Day! Happy Secretary's day to me!! 6:53 AM
Tuesday, April 24, 2001
I kicked some serious ASS today at my auditions. I woke up at 5:30 am, did a pilates work out, took a shower, vocally warmed up, got ready, packed my bag for the day (food, water, clothes, book, sheet music, pictures and resumes, make-up, hair stuff), and then headed to the first audition. I got there at about 8:00. The first audition was for Beehive at Alabama Shakespear Festival. I was really surprised at how many women were there. It was a very small group. A lot of people were signing up for later appointments...but because I had two other calls to go to, I wanted to be in the first group. Plus, it's better to be seen first....in my opinion. That way, the casting directors are fresh and probably haven't heard the song you are singing 50 times already that day!! So, I was FIRST... my appointment was for 9:30......which was fine. I don't mind going first. They were very nice.....my song was fierce. I sang Natural Woman- Aretha Franklin. They asked me to sing another song too! They said,"Well, now we know that you can sing that style....do you have something else....maybe Petula Clark'ish? We need someone who can do both." So, I said I had I'll Never Fall in Love Again- Burt Bacharach. They said that was good. That song went really well too.... I wasn't quite prepared to sing it.....hadn't worked on it....but I pulled it off. They gave some compliments....said thank you....and then I was off to audition #2.
Audition #2 was for Joseph & I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change at Olgunquin Theatre in Maine. I signed up for a 10:10 appointment. Again, I sang Natural Woman....and it went really well. When I was done singing, they said "Yes you are a natural woman....wow, that was really great. Thank you so much for coming in." Yeah- whatever....where is my contract?? *hee hee hee* Off to audition #3....
Audition #3 was for Back to Bacharach at some theatre in Connecticut. The studio it was in was so hot....being that is was 84 degrees out today!! Anyhoo- I got to the studio and got an 11:20 appointment. I had to change back into my outfit. I was wearing my knee high boots, a short black skirt, and a black, form-fitting tank top that had a purple glittery rose on it. It looked HOT!! But, going from audition to audition, I changed back into my shorts and tennis shoes....I didn't want to be walking around the streets of New York looking like a crack whore!! So, I had just enough time to change and touch up my make-up before lining up for this audition. I was planning on singing Knowing When to Leave which is a Burt Bacharach song from the musical Promises, Promises. I worked on it in my voice lesson and thought it would be a good selection. But they asked for NO musical theatre songs at all. They wanted to hear something in the pop genre. Guess what I sang....for the third time in two hours....You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman! Of course! When I walked in the room, the director made some loud comment about my outfit....something like "wow...you look sassy! Where did you get that outfit?" And I said "I don't know....some trashy store!" And he said "You look fierce!" So, I struck a few poses and they laughed and I laughed....it was pretty funny. Then he asked me what I was going to sing....and I said, "Natural Woman....how many times have you heard that today?" And he said, "None! Actually, we heard it a bunch of times yesterday but you'll be the first white girl to sing it!" *hee hee hee* I laughed at them. I was just glad we were having humerous dialogue....it helps show the casting people your personality when you strike up conversation before your song....makes it not seem so business like. Maybe the saying Third time's the charm rings true because that was the best I did that song so far. It was flawless....if I may say so myself! When I finished singing, the director said, "I LIKED that!! That was amazing." and of course the thank you's followed....
All in all.....it was a really great day. Whether I get any of these shows or not, I felt good about my performances and think I did the best that I could do! That's what is important, right? Back to work tomorrow.....relaxing for the rest of the day. 2:55 PM
Monday, April 23, 2001
Happy Earth Day!! Hopefully it will be a good day...it's the 23rd....my lucky number! 8:36 AM
Not feeling well today...kind of dizzy, tummy hurts, and a headache. Grrrrr...Had a pretty good weekend though. Friday night, I just relaxed...cleaned the house a bit...chatted on the phone with some friends. Saturday, I went to Colony Records to get new sheet music for some auditions I have coming up. I have FOUR tomorrow....oy! Send good vibes if you can! Then, I went to my voice lesson....we worked on (You Make Me Feel Like a) Natural Woman- Aretha Franklin style. I think I am going to blow them away at the audition! It sounded really awesome. The auditions are for Beehive, Back to Bacharach, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and some readings for new shows. Moving right along.... Saturday night, I met up with Jeffrey and his mom and brother. Jeffrey and I did No,No, Nanette together in San Diego three years ago. He just moved to the city....and his mom and brother were here visiting from San Diego. We went to the Sidewalk Cafe and had a few drinks and some food....then we ventured downstairs to play some pool. I didn't play though....I just watched, provided encouragement! We met up with four of Jeff's friends and then headed to a real pool hall to get our own table. There was only one table at this bar and it was starting to get really crowded. By now, it was already 3:00 in the morning. At the pool hall...I watched a few games and then was asked to be partners with this guy, Marc. I told him that I was a really bad player and I didn't think he'd want me as a partner....but he didn't care. So, we started the game.....stripes. He ended up being an amazing coach. Everytime it was my turn, he helped determine my angle (wow, that sounded sexy). I hit FOUR balls in!! I felt like a superstar. Well, we ended up losing because he called the wrong pocked for the eight ball. It was all good though. I was just stoked that I hit some balls in. He was super apologetic to me about losing the game. I didn't care....by that point, I was so tired..... I just wanted to get in a cab and go home. I was in bed at 5:00 in the morning!!! Good night....lots of laughs.
Sunday morning, I met up with Lynn, Jeffrey's mom. We had lunch at a little restaurant in the East Village and then saw Jeffrey's show...a new, musical version of What You Will. It was very different. I like certain parts of it. I really enjoyed the choreography. Jeffrey looked great on stage....definitely the best out of all the dancers. I didn't care for the female lead, Viola. Her voice bugged me....kind of sounded like Susan Egan (Belle in Beauty and the Beast). After the show, we put Lynn on the subway to go home and Jeffrey and I grabbed some dinner at Dojo's. We had a very intense conversation....it was SO what I needed. It seems we are both in the same place...career/goal wise.....searching. We both miss California a lot.
After dinner, I got back on the subway and headed home. Stopped at the grocery store for some necessities....milk, bread, fruit, and ice cream!! Yes, my appetite is definitely back. Got home, got in my pj's, chatted with my mom, and then hit the sack.
At 1:00 am, I was woken up by the phone ringing. It was an old friend that I hadn't spoken to in a very long time. Although I was exhausted and a bit irritated at being woken up.....I stayed up and talked to her for a good hour and a half. I'm really glad she called. It was a little awkward at first.....being that we weren't on the best terms the last time we communicated....but we still have a very interesting connection with eachother.....that will probably be there forever. 8:06 AM
Friday, April 20, 2001
Leaving work soon. Had a cranky day....still cranky....have NO plans for the weekend....except a voice lesson tomorrow afternoon. Boring! Oh well...I'm sure I'll find something to do. 2:14 PM
Really great article about Love, Janis, the musical I saw Wednesday night. Truly amazing..... 7:14 AM
Thursday, April 19, 2001
I got home around 11:30 from the show. I was so exhausted but HAD to watch Felicity before I went to bed. I have been looking forward to seeing the spring premiere episode since last season's finale!! It was really good. For the last couple of months, I've been trying to figure out who was shot at the end of last season. I thought it could've been Megan or Noel but never thought it would be a brand new character. COOL!! Avery, the new character is not nice....she is manipulative and evil. I know she is going to cause a lot of problems between Felicity and Ben. Bring on the drama!! 8:30 AM
After work last night, I met Andrea down on West 4th street. We headed over to La Margarita for dinner and drinks. Lucky for us, it was happy hour!! Two margaritas for $5.00....oh yeah! And they were pretty strong too. It was really nice to catch up with her. We did No, No, Nanette together at the Lawrence Welk Theatre in San Diego three years ago. She was my roommate as well.....very talented girl. I actually just got her to start taking lessons with my voice teacher, who she is loving!! We hadn't caught up since the whole break-up trauma.....oh, she's also the one that I was housesitting for in Brooklyn with the two adorable kittens!!
Anyhoo- after two drinks, chips and salsa, and a quesadilla, we walked over to the Village Theatre. It's a pretty small space with a tiny stage. We had totally great seats...right in the middle. Anyone who is in the New York area.....GO SEE LOVE, JANIS!!! It is one of thee most amazing, moving, rockin shows that I've seen in a long time. It isn't your normal, typical "musical".....there is a live rock band on stage, and two actresses.....both play Janis Joplin. One of them does the scenes...and the other does the singing....although, the singing Janis also does some of the scenes. The amazing thing... well, one of the amazing things is all of the dialogue, the interviews, the monologues...came from Janis Joplin herself....actual letters that she had written to her family and press interviews she had given. In the lobby, they have lots of pictures up and some of the letters and postcards framed on display. Both of the actresses were FIERCE...absolutely mind blowing, wickedly brilliant!! The singing Janis had such a powerful voice....very similar to the real Janis. The band rocked. And the other Janis had such a presence and was almost possesed by her spirit or something...she was so real....so honest. I was so impressed. The singing role of Janis is alternated every other night by two different actresses, due to the vocal strain of the role. I was in such awe of Andra's singing ...but curious to see what the other woman sounded like. I may have to go back and see it again. I hope these actresses get Tony nominations....they truly deserve it. 8:21 AM
Tonight..... FELICITY!! I won't be home but I have both of my VCR's set to record it....just in case one of them doesn't work. I know, I'm a nutcase! I am getting dinner with my friend, Andrea, tonight and then she got us free tickets to see Love, Janis....an off-broadway show about Janis Joplin. It's supposed to be really good....I'm looking forward to it. 9:19 AM
Tuesday, April 17, 2001
Just got off of the phone with my brother. It was so good to talk to him. He was talking to me about making decisions and such and told me something someone once told him. That is..... you need to take the word "failure" out of your vocabulary, and then make your decision.. I've been thinking about that for the last hour. If I didn't incorporate failure or inadequacy in my decision making process of moving back to California, there would be no doubt about it. I would move in a second. I think the 25% of me that's keeping me here, is the part that thinks I've failed.....that thinks I would be giving up.....that thinks I didn't succeed. But the reality is, I succeeded in something greater than that....soething that I didn't even think about.....I succeeded in growing as an individual, moving to New York by myself, finding a job, surviving, putting myself out there....that is a HUGE accomplishment. I need to keep reminding myself of that. I get so caught up in what I haven't done that I just dismiss what I HAVE done. Wow....I am having a revelation! Thank you, Derek. 1:52 PM
Last night was so much fun. I stayed up almost all night with my friend, Jon Stewart helping him pack. He left this morning to join the Annie Get Your Gun tour. I am really excited for him. Although, my group of friends here in the city has slowly diminished. David is in Florida doing West Side Story, Tiffany is in Pennsylvania doing Allenbury Playhouse's season, and Jon just left for the tour which my friend, Foote is already on!! Aaahh...I miss my friends. I think I might go up to Pennslyvania in two weeks to visit Tiff. Jon and I stayed up laughing hyterically all night. We were listening to old voice tapes from a mutual teacher in LA. We now have the same voice teacher here in NY too. Our old teacher had us do some CRAZY things....essentially he made us scream the notes. We fell on the floor, bellies aching, tears streaming down our faces, absolutely hysterical, listening to these tapes. We even left our current voice teacher a message on his voice mail with some excerpts from the tape....and told him how happy we are to be studying with him now! What a fun night! This morning, Jon made coffee and cinnamon french toast!! Yummy! He'll be done with the tour at the beginning of June......I'm really going to miss him. 9:39 AM
Did y'all see Bernadette Peters on Ally McBeal last night? She was flawless.....love her!!!
Tomorrow night.......the season premiere of FELICITY- my favorite show.....I absolutely cannot wait to see who was shot at the end of last season. I think it was Megan or the crack smoking girl....hmmmmm....I don't know. I am terribly excited about it though. 9:29 AM
Monday, April 16, 2001
Bernadette Peters is going to be on Ally McBeal tonight!!! She is my all time favorite. 1:37 PM
At work already....bright and early. It's actually not so bright out....cloudy and dark....it's supposed to rain today....possible snow tomorrow? What is that about? At least the weekends have been nice and warm. Next weekend is supposed to be sunny and warm too!
So, Thursday, I tried to post but something was going on with Blogger. I tried three times but it wasn't working. I think I was commenting on Dawson's Crack from Wednesday night or something. It was a good episode. I know, I know, I am a big ole dork for watching that show....I don't even like those actors but for some reason, I tune in every week to watch the drama unfold. Silly me! Thursday night, as I was leaving work, my friend Jon Stewart called me.
What are you doing tonight?
Nothing, why?
Want to see a show with me?
Sure, what show?
The Killer Midgets.
Ummmm......ok?!
So, I met Jon in the city around 7:30. We downed a quick drink at a local bar and then went to this really small theatre on 8th Avenue. Jon had done the Radio City Christmas show two years ago in LA and has a bunch of little people friends. I quickly learned, that evening, that the word "midget" is a derogatory term.....you are supposed to call them "little people". I didn't know that. I've never been around any little people before. The show Killer Midgets is very bizarre! The first act revolved around these two characters, neither of which have left the house in 8 years. The walls and floors are covered with newspaper. Needless to say, they are both a bit nuts. But, the dialogue that goes on between the two of them is very interesting. They analyze everything from topics such as death to the Messiah and whatever is going on in newspaper.....their daily newspaper that they steal from the man down the hall. At the end of the first act, they get a note from the nextdoor neighbor, Frances, saying "Stop stealing my paper, asshole or I'll kill you." Of course, this sets them off into a fit of chaotic panic and anger. The act ends with them deciding to write a note back...although the audience doesn't find out what the note said until the last line of the play. The second act opens with the two crazy characters tied up, surrounded by three little people. The three "Killer Midgets" are straight out of the Sopranos...Frankie, Joey and Tommy. They are hysterical. I am not going to give away what ends up happening but if you are in New York, you really should try to see it. It's at the Pelican Studios Theatre and is playing until April 29th. It will make you think....
After the show, Jon and I got some drinks at a local bar with his friends Mark and David (they played Joey and Tommy). They were both just over 2 feet tall. The funny thing is, they could drink more than me!! I had an amazing night, talking and drinking with them.....such great guys. Mark is actually getting married next month to another little person! What a great experience. When I left, I bent down and gave each of them a hug and thanked them for an incredible evening and a really wonderful performance. I walked down the street to the subway just smiling at how life takes you in so many different directions... introduces you to truly amazing people and teaches you something new every day.
Friday the 13th was actually a good day...nothing too freaky happened. I slept in and then went to my voice lesson and then to therapy. It was a self-help kind of day. Both of them went really well! Then I met my friend, Colleen down in the Village for dinner.....mexican food and a HUGE passion fruit margarita....yummy! I haven't seen Colleen in a while....she had just gotten a drastic haircut...really short, spiked up and bleached blonde! She looked fierce..and her spirit was blinding! We chit-chatted about life and relationships...how fucked up and hard they can be. I picked up a bottle of Jose Cuervo and then headed up to Jon Stewart's place for a party. He is leaving for a couple of months to do the Annie Get Your Gun tour...which my friend Foote (Jen) is already doing. What a small world! Jon and I made 7 layer dip, homemade guacamole, chicken with beans and rice, and blended margaritas! We surrounded the apartment with candles....it looked awesome. People started arriving around 10:00- it ended up being a really late night. I got home around 3:00 am...by cab of course! At the party, I met a woman named Virginia. Speaking of a small world, she went to school with my good friend Tami. So, we chatted about her and then spent the rest of the night talking and drinking and laughing our heads off. She casually mentioned that she was going to drop off some postcards for her cabaret show over at Rent....because she's got some friends in the show. I asked her if she knew my Rent boy and she said she'd look him up. I told her about how I'd had this one date with him and had such a great time but haven't heard from him in a week! In my margarita-state-of-mind, I told her to find him and tell him to call me! I think I was joking. Next thing you know, I get a call yesterday from my buddy Virginia who says "I talked to your Rent boy yesterday!" Apparently, she went to drop her postcards off and ran into this cute blonde boy and asked what his name was. She immediately recognized it from my story and told him she was a friend of mine and how much fun I had with him AND that he should call me! He said he had a great time too and just smiled at her. So- she either scared the shit out of him and he'll never call again, or maybe I'll hear from him soon! hee hee hee 5:28 AM
Sunday, April 15, 2001
I rented Dancer in the Dark this afternoon.....just finished watching it. I am speechless....bawled my eyes out. Bjork is an absolutely amazing actress! The movie itself is so powerful....I'm going to write in my journal for a bit before I go to bed. Gotta be at work really early tomorrow. Annette is out again so it will probably be a crazy 11 or 12 hour day. Grrrrrr.....lots of stories to tell.....hopefully I will have some time to write while my boss is in a meeting or something. If you haven't seen Dancer in the Dark....RENT IT!! Make sure you don't have any plans afterwards though, because you'll probably feel incredibly emotionally drained. I sure do. 6:44 PM
Saturday, April 14, 2001
It's been an interesting/busy weekend....lots of stories to tell. I am going to wait until I'm at work on Monday to post all of the craziness.... Today was amazingly beautiful outside. I walked down Steinway street in a short sleeved shirt and overalls (can you believe that?), did some shopping, and then stopped in the movie theatre to see Someone Like You. It was cute....not great, but cute. I enjoyed it. It was a good movie to see solo....I had a few good laughs and shed a few tears. I really liked Ashley Judd's haircut.....I'm thinking about getting that same cut! And, Hugh Jackman.... how HOT is he!!?? I was definitely warm for his form!! hee hee hee! Wow, what else has he been in? In the movie, there is this great line that Ashley Judd (Jane) says to Greg Kinear. He asks her what she's thinking and she responds, "I'm just thinking about how good my apartment looks with you in it." Ugh....I love that line! It gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling!
Tonight, I cleaned the house and just relaxed. Didn't really feel like doing that but I didn't have any other options/plans for the evening so.....cleaning it was! The boy still hasn't called. I'm over it... giving up. Oh well- it was a good moment...had potential....but, probably not the best timing. Plus, he wasn't making any effort so.....I'm releasing it to the universe. No sense in trying to control anything anymore. Lately, I'm just trying to surrender to the universe and let whatever is supposed to happen, happen.....sometimes I have to remind myself that it is ok to just float. My feet are firmly planted in mid-air......and that is OK for now!
HAPPY EASTER!!! Have a wonderful, bright day, filled with lots of smiles and laughter! 9:41 PM
Wednesday, April 11, 2001
I was listening to Tracy Chapman on the subway this morning. I listened to this song over and over again. These lyrics seemed rather appropriate.... really powerful....meaningful.... seemed to strike a chord inside my fragile soul.
"This time I won't show I'm vulnerable This time I won't give in first This time I will hold out with my love This time I will not be hurt
I'm gonna love myself More than anyone else I'm gonna treat me right I'm gonna make you say That you love me first And you'll be the one with the most to lose tonight This time
This time I won't let my emotions rule my life This time I'm gonna keep my heart locked safe inside This time I'm gonna be my own best friend This time I'm gonna be the one
To win Your love Your affection To hide My fear Of rejection This time" 8:06 AM
Tuesday, April 10, 2001
"There are two tragedies in life: one is not to get what you want. The other is to get it." - George Bernard Shaw 6:42 AM
Last night was so bizarre. First of all, it was beautiful yesterday.....72 degrees out! But then last night, it started hailing then raining and then thunder and lightening! After about a half hour of intense weather trauma, it was totally still out. Spooky....also, I came home to a message from the boy. I don't really want to go too much into it but it really explained why he hasn't been too eager to return my phone calls. We'll see......it's all good.....all making sense. He is very cool, very honest. AND THEN, Jon called. That was an interesting conversation too. At that point, I sat down with Sarah and Fillipina and had a few Rum and Cokes and ordered some falafel. ???????? What a totally odd night. I'm really not sure about it all. 6:26 AM
Monday, April 09, 2001
It's hard to get up for work at 6:30 after having 4 days off! At least I only have a four day week...we've got Friday off! Yahoo! I'd love to go away somewhere for the weekend. We'll see.....as for now, no plans for the week. Sarah and Fillipina are leaving Wednesday morning. I went out last night to a restaurant (of my choice) called Zen Palate with Sarah, Fillipina, and 5 of their friends. Zen Palate is this amazing vegetarian place that has a really cool atmosphere. They all went out afterwards..... I headed home to get to sleep early so I could function at work today. I had really funky dreams all night....didn't sleep too well.... too much on my mind. 8:25 AM
Sunday, April 08, 2001
I've never had a Passover seder like the one that I had last night. It was INCREDIBLE!! I can't even express in words how happy I was. There were six of us: Me, Jon Stewart, David (Jon's roommate), my cousin Sarah, her friend Fillipina, and my friend Colleen. Colleen and I went to college together at UC Irvine and have remained friends ever since. Jon and I also went to college together..... we even dated for a couple of months back in the day.....and there has continued to be an interesting chemistry between us. I subletted Jon's place for a couple of months over a year ago and David was my roommate. We got along really well.
The night started with many glasses of Manischewitz Blackberry and Grape wine. Passover wouldn't be the same without it. That is the wine that probably every Jewish kid got drunk on for the first time! It's really sweet...... there is truly nothing like it......very distinct taste. So, the crew all arrived around 7:30. We got a late start. We all sat around the table in the living room, candles lit, wine in hand, and ONE Passover Haggadah (book) to pass around. Everyone read different portions and I helped explain to the Virgin Passover attendees (Colleen & Fillipina) what everything meant.
The best part of the evening was the four questions. The four questions are done in Hebrew by the youngest person at the table which usually is ME! But, Sarah was the youngest at the table this year so she did them. Not only did she chant them in Hebrew, but we all joined in. ALL OF US!! We snapped along, put a beat to it, and would echo certain phrases that were supposed to be repeated. It was SO COOL!! We were all smiling and involved in the moment. Can't even explain the feeling I got from that.....being surrounded by friends and family, participating in an ancient tradition that my family from generations back honored each year. It really was a moment that I will remember for a long time.
We continued with the service.....washing our hands....reading of the four sons....singing dayenu.....drinking more wine.....and then finally..... THE FESTIVE MEAL! I was a little worried about not having enough food but it was all ok. I made homemade Matzah Ball Soup (which was amazingly yummy, if I must say so myself), Charoset (which is grated apples, honey, cinnamon, and wine), chicken, Potato Kugel, Gefilte Fish (which I didn't make.. my Grandma makes the best homemade gefilte fish....I unfortunately don't know how to make it), lots of veggies, and a Passover chocolate cake. I made everything with egg beaters so the Vegetarians and Vegans at the table could eat it.....except for the chicken and soup. I couldn't find Vegetarian soup mix. Although, I must admit, I didn't look that hard. I only went to two stores....but I really didn't have time. I had a voice lesson from 1-2 and then had to get home asap to start cooking.
Anyhoo- we ended up all hanging out on my kitchen floor from 11:00 pm till around 1:00 just talking and laughing and listening to music. Sarah and Fillipina left right after dinner to go hang out with a friend in the city. They are coming back sometime tonight. The only thing that was missing at the Seder was my mom's homemade strawberry shortcake and my friend David Baida. He has spent the last two seder's with me but couldn't make it this year because he's in Florida doing West Side Story. We called him last night after the seder and talked to him but he was definitely missed! And don't worry Marissa, Jon helped me with the dishes! *smile* What an amazing evening......Passover will never be the same. 8:38 AM
Friday, April 06, 2001
Their luggage ended up arriving at the house at 12:45 am!! Apparently, they checked in late to the Oakland Airport so, they didn't put their luggage on their plane OR the next planed.....but the NEXT plane. So, some Southwest airlines guy called at midnight and said he was on his way with their three bags. What a drag. It all turned out ok though. I got home from work and took an hour nap. It was very much needed. When they arrived, we hung out, ordered some Thai food, and just caught up until their luggage arrived. We are having so much fun! Sarah and Fillipina (her friend) are amazing people. I'm really glad they are here. Yesterday, we ventured into the city and explored the Village, Union Square, and Soho....went shopping, ate, talked a bunch. Last night, they met up with a friend and hit a hip hop club on the Lower East Side. I didn't feel like going so I gave them subway maps, directions there and back, and sent them on their way......I stayed home, started my new book- What's Not to Love, The Adventures of a Mildly Perverted Young Writer, written by Jonathan Ames, and talked to that boy on the phone. We may hang out this weekend.....we'll see. Today, therapy and Passover food shopping. 8:15 AM
Wednesday, April 04, 2001
Going home soon to sleep. I just got a call from Sarah. Her luggage wasn't on the plane.....it's on the next plane so she has to hang out at the airport and wait for it. That totally sucks...but it will give me extra time to sleep! 2:45 PM
I had thee most incredible evening last night with the boy. We had a few beers, played cards, listened to music, talked, and then watched a movie. The night didn't even start until after 11:00 because he is in Rent on Broadway so we got together after the show. Um.....I didn't get ANY sleep. We had the best time hanging out, talking about growing up, passions, funny experiences, and laughing so hard. It was so great. Right now I feel like I am sleep walking through my day. Staying up all night before a work day was pretty lame on my part...... but, I am going to take a little nap in one of the empty offices on my lunch break. That should help. My cousin, Sarah and her friend are flying in from San Francisco tonight. I am totally looking forward to that. They won't be at my house until around nine o'clock so I will have a chance to take another little snooze. Randie, my roommate, and her boyfriend left this morning. Yipppeee...so, the house is mine again. Score! I like being the King of my Castle.....although, I think it's Virginia's castle and I am a guest of her Royal Pain-in-the-ass. Bitter much? 9:34 AM
Tuesday, April 03, 2001
Dinner tonight with Tiffany. She is leaving on Thursday for Pennsylvania to do Allenbury's summer theatre season and will be gone for 6 months!! waaaahhhhhhhh.....(with a whining tone) So this is our last supper. hee hee hee. Then I am getting drinks tonight with a boy. *smile* 2:20 PM
The musical last night was amazing!! It was called The Happy Prince, adapted from the Oscar Wilde story. I really hope it goes somewhere from this reading. Apparently, they have people from Disney and The Lincoln Center coming to check it out. Jon was great. He played Squawk, one of the "feathered family four", singing Swallows. Each of them had a distinct character and they were histerical. The lead, Rara, was played by Andrea Burns. She is one of my favorite singers, from my favorite musical, Songs for a New World. She also studied with my voice teacher (who also was in the performance). How about that? She was FLAWLESS and absolutely stunning in person. I was blown away and totally star-struck! And Jon said that she is thee nicest, sweetest person too. Wow..... very inspiring.
After the show, Jon and I went out for some drinks with my voice teacher, Tim, and his partner, Sean (who was the director), and the writer/lyricist of the Happy Prince, Frank. As we sat there, drinking beers, they disected the show and how they felt the performance went. Because I was the only one at the table who was an audience member, they kept asking for my opinion and wanted to know whether some things were unclear. Thank goodness I have a background in musical theatre......I felt very prepared and totally comfortable in saying what I understood and what I thought didn't work. They welcomed my suggestions and included me in the whole process of figuring out what would help some sections. It was great. Plus, it was a good chance to get to know Frank....apparently he does a lot of stuff. Jon was complimentary of me when he introduced me to Frank. He said to Frank, "You should hear her sing. She's got a great voice." *smile*
All in all, it was a really wonderful evening. Although, getting home at 1:30 am after working all day and then getting up this morning at 6:30 for work was not easy. I am still pretty sleepy..... hopefully the day will sail by quickly. 7:05 AM
Monday, April 02, 2001
Off to see my friend, Jon Stewart, in a reading of a new musical. Very excited..... 2:46 PM
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